Wag po sana kayo ma-offend kung feeling nyo nilalaet ang school nyo.
Deodorant
San Beda - Secret
Letran - Surea
Benilde - Rexona
Mapua - Babes
Baste - Splash Deowhitener
UPHD - Tawas
PCU- Dinidikdik na Maxx Menthol
Multivitamins
Benilde - Pharmaton
Letran - Rogin-E
San Beda - Centrum
Mapua - Clusivol
PCU- Star Rice
Bags
San Beda - Nine West
Benilde - Esprit
Letran - Polo
Mapua - Prada
UPHD - Chanel
JRU - Native bags
PCU - Guess... What? Plastic bag
When buying
Mapua - N95 please
Letran - LG chocolate
San Beda - 5800 XpressMusic
Benilde - Extra battery
UPHD - Two pieces of P1,000 Globe cards
PCU - (pabulong) may brochure kayo?
Iniinom ng mga students sa bar
Letran - Mule
San Beda - Sub-Zero
Benilde - Heineken
Mapua - Super Dry
UPHD- Pale Pilsen
JRU - Blue Ice
PCU- Zesto
Expressions pag may nakakatawa
San Beda - Hahaha, funny
Mapua - Yeah, right
Baste - T*** i** ok to ah
PCU- T*** i** tayo na naman ang pinag-uusapan ah!
Smell of students
Benilde - Polo
Letran - Hugo Boss
San Beda - Banana Republic
Mapua - Penshoppe
Baste - Bench
UPHD - Axe
PCU - Lysol
Dreams
San Beda - To become good businessmen
Letran - To become good in I.T.
Mapua - To become good engineer
PCU - Manalo sa WOWOWEE!
After class
Benilde - Tambay, punta sa kotse
Letran - Punta mall, coffee break
San Beda - Tambay, review notes
Mapua - Punta walls, pa cute-cute
PCU - Uwi agad, laba-laba
Pag may kaaway
Benilde - Aikido
San Beda - Taekwondo
Letran - Akokwondo
JRU - Boxing
PCU - Sayunachi... Sayonachi... Sayona Chinelas ko! TAKBO!!!
Bracelet ng mga estudyante
Benilde - Uni Silver
Letran - Tiffany
Mapua - Silver works
PCU - Rubber band
After school hirits
San Beda - Wanna hitch?
Benilde - Where are you parked?
Letran - Convoy tayo!
Mapua - Manong, bayad ko.
PCU - Saan to?
Question and Answer
Q: What should an Bedan do when a Benildean hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Bedan should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin, and hurl
it back at the Benildean.
A typical conversation
Benildean meet on the street and carry on a typical Benildean
conversation:
Benildean #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag,
I will give you both of them.
Benildean #2: Uh, two?
Benildean #1: Daya mo! You peeked!
Usapang PCU
PCU #1: Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung gugulpihin natin?
PCU #2: Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya!
PCU #1: Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya.
Mirienda ng students
San Beda - Double cheese burger
Mapua - Double hotdog in a bun
Baste - Double cheesedog
Letran - Double burger
PCU - Double Mint
Sinasabi ng students sa dasal.
La Salle - St. John Baptist de La Salle, pray for us.
Ateneo - St. Ignatius, pray for us.
Baste - St. Sebastian, pray for us.
San Beda - St. Benedict, St Bede, pray for us.
JRU - Our holy father national hero Jose Rizal?!
Sponsored towels ng school team
La Salle - Nike
Ateneo - Adidas
San Beda - And1
Letran - Accel
Benilde - K-Swiss
JRU - SM Basics
PCU - Good Morning Towels
TV brand ng students
Benilde - Phillips
Mapua - Sony
San Beda - Samsung
Letran - Toshiba
PCU - Aiwa... AIWAlang TV
Where To Go To College?
If you have brains and lots money, go to San Beda College
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to College of St. Benilde
If you have no money and no brains, go to PCU.
Bedan: IQ 150, promil user until age 5
Letranite: IQ 100, promil user until age 6
Perpetualite: IQ 130, promil user until age 7
PCU: Low IQ, Promil user until now
Reaction when flooded
Mapua - Oh my God it's baha!
San Beda - It's flooded again!
Baste - Baha na naman!
JRU - Nako pare, baha!
PCU - Tara ligo tayo!
Reaction sa BMW
Benilde - My dad has one like that
Letran - Dad, buy me naman that
San Beda - Dad, that is not worth buying
Mapua - Wow dad! Cool car
PCU - Itay, pakodak tayo sa tabi!
Reaction ng mga students pag nawalan ng wallet
Letran - F***! My credit cards are there
Benilde - S***! Yung driver license ko
San Beda - There goes my 5,000 bucks
PCU - Ok lang...
Reaction ng marinig ang new text scheme
Letran - Bwisit!
Benilde - S***!
San Beda- Bad trip!
Mapua - Diyahe naman...
PCU - Yes! Wala nang mang-aasar sa atin!
NEWS ADVISORY: There was an investigation done to Globe because of their new text scheme. It was found out that the president of Globe is an Alumni of PCU.
Reaction ng students
San Beda - Gosh!
Benilde - Duh!?
Mapua - Oh my God!
JRU - Ganon?
PCU - Chuvachuchu
Reaction sa prostitute
Mapua - Bayaran!
San Beda - Flirt!
Benilde - Loose!
Baste - Magkano?
PCU - Hi classmate!
Reaction sa Lizard
Mapua - Uy, Piticus lizardus.
JRU - Ay, butiki!
San Beda - Eek, lizard!
Benilde - Hey, Lacoste!
PCU - Pare, pulutan!
Belen-making Contest
Last Christmas, there was an inter-school Belen-making contest, but it turned out to be a disaster.
Benilde joined, but later pulled out because they could find only one wise man.
Baste joined, but later pulled out because they could find only two wise men.
PCU did not even bother to join. They can't even find a single virgin.
Sa isang bar
Letran - Waiter, a glass Dom Perignon, please.
San Beda - Johnny Walker Blue Label, on the rocks.
Mapua - Smirnoff. Shaken, not stirred.
Benilde - I'll have some Bacardi, will you please hurry up?
PCU - Teka, teka. Isa-isa lang ho ang order. Ano ulet un sayo Mapua? Smashonaf?
Sa Museum
Sa isang museum, may koleksyon ng iba't-ibang utak kasama na doon ang mga utak ng lahat ng school.
Naka-display din doon ang utak ng taga Benilde na nagkakahalagang Php 25 M at ang utak ng taga Beda na nagkakahalagang Php 5
Nagkataon naman na may dumalaw na Bedista at nagreklamo tungkol sa presyo ng utak ng taga Beda.
San Beda: Bakit ganito lang ang halaga ng utak namin? Mataas ang kaledad nyan tapos limang piso lang. Aba! Dapat nga priceless yan eh!
Curator: Ah! Yun po ba... Kasi po sa San Beda madaling makakuha ng ganyan eh sa Benilde bihira ang makahanap ng utak.
College students daring to eat street foods
Benlide - Kadiri! if u want cheap foods sa Jollibee na lang tayo
Mapua - Eeew! Dirty
San Beda - Yuck!
Letran - Wag jan mga pre... Dami nakukuha mga sakit
PCU - Wag yan! Mahal... Dun na lang sa suki ko.
5 students decide to commit suicide by jumping headfirst from a building.
San Beda: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Mapua: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Letran: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Baste: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Last and the least, Benilde: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang dugo sa kalsada. Walang utak.
Quiz B
Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
Contestant from JRU: Sa Back?
Host: O Sige, pwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta)
Contestant from JRU: : Likod?
Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito (Rizal Park)
Contestant from JRU: : Rear Part?
Host: What "N" (Narra) is the national tree of the Philippines?
Contestant from PCU: Niyog?
Host: Mas Matigas pa diyan
Contestant from PCU: (in a strong sound voice) NIYOG!!!
Friends at Hunting
There were three friends; a Bedan, and a Letranite and a student from PCU went on a hunting trip.
The first night, the guy from San Beda comes back to cabin with a big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he coolly replies: "I saw the tracks, I
followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Letran comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Letranite's
story.
So the student from PCU decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody
all over. "What happened?" they ask "Well," replies the student from PCU, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."
Nabangga ang car
UPHD - Pare, ano ba?! Papasada pa ko mamaya e!
Letran - F***! My dad's gonna kill me for this!
Benilde - Nako! My car's not yet insured!
PCU - T*** i** di na nga umaandar babanggain mo pa!
A Benildean trying to buy a green parrot
A Benildean walks into a store in Mega Mall and says:
"Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir, are you a St Benilde by any chance?" The Benildean replies: "Oo. Bakit mo
naman natanong yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Letran? I don't think so. If I bought a RED shirt, would you ask me if I were
from San Beda? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, you ask me if I'm from St Benilde?" "Sir, kasi naman..." replied the salesgirl,
"This is a flower shop, eh."
Kakainin ng salamin pag nag sinungaling
Letran - Pangit ako! (Kinain ng salamin)
Benilde - Mahirap lang kami! (Kinain ng salamin)
San Beda - Hindi ako matalino! (Kinain ng salamin)
PCU - I think... (Kinain ng salamin)
A Benildean and a Letranite
Chance had it that an Benildean and a Letranite were peeing in the Men’s Room at the same time. The Benildean finished first and after a quick shake, zipped
up and was about to quickly exit. The Letranite finished peeing immediately after, approached the sink, turned on the faucet, started to wash his hands and
hurriedly shot a remark at the departing Atenean - “You must be a Benildean!”
The Benildean replied, “Why yes... You’re right... But aside from the obvious markings on my jacket, how did you know?”
To which, the Letranite answered rather haughtily, “I noticed you didn’t wash your hands after peeing. You see, we, Letranites, were taught, very early in
Grade School, to always wash our hands after we pee!”
And the Benildean replied somewhat sheepishly, “Oh... Well... You see, we Benildeans were taught, very early in Grade School, not to pee on our hands...”
Suicidal Sandwich
There were three friends; a Bedan, a student from JRU and a Letranite. Everyday, they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.
Beda: Darn!!! Roast beef sandwich again? I'm sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna shoot myself.
JRU: Putek!!! Peanut butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman ang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.
Leranite: Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I'm so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich again, I'm gonna drive
my Jeep over the cliff.
The next morning, they again met for lunch. And they had the same sandwiches again.
The Bedan went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.
The JRU student went back to his dorm, pulled out a belt, and choked himself to death.
The Letranite drove his Jeep off a cliff.
During their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:
Beda: If he had told me that he didn't want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't have given him roast beef.
JRU: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.
Letranite: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich.
