Alma Mater

Wag po sana kayo ma-offend kung feeling nyo nilalaet ang school nyo.



Deodorant

San Beda - Secret
Letran - Surea
Benilde - Rexona
Mapua - Babes
Baste - Splash Deowhitener
UPHD - Tawas
PCU- Dinidikdik na Maxx Menthol


Multivitamins

Benilde - Pharmaton
Letran - Rogin-E
San Beda - Centrum
Mapua - Clusivol
PCU- Star Rice


Bags

San Beda - Nine West
Benilde - Esprit
Letran - Polo
Mapua - Prada
UPHD - Chanel
JRU - Native bags
PCU - Guess... What? Plastic bag


When buying

Mapua - N95 please
Letran - LG chocolate
San Beda - 5800 XpressMusic
Benilde - Extra battery
UPHD - Two pieces of P1,000 Globe cards
PCU - (pabulong) may brochure kayo?


Iniinom ng mga students sa bar

Letran - Mule
San Beda - Sub-Zero
Benilde - Heineken
Mapua - Super Dry
UPHD- Pale Pilsen
JRU - Blue Ice
PCU- Zesto


Expressions pag may nakakatawa

San Beda - Hahaha, funny
Mapua - Yeah, right
Baste - T*** i** ok to ah
PCU- T*** i** tayo na naman ang pinag-uusapan ah!


Smell of students

Benilde - Polo
Letran - Hugo Boss
San Beda - Banana Republic
Mapua - Penshoppe
Baste - Bench
UPHD - Axe
PCU - Lysol


Dreams

San Beda - To become good businessmen
Letran - To become good in I.T.
Mapua - To become good engineer
PCU - Manalo sa WOWOWEE!


After class

Benilde - Tambay, punta sa kotse
Letran - Punta mall, coffee break
San Beda - Tambay, review notes
Mapua - Punta walls, pa cute-cute
PCU - Uwi agad, laba-laba


Pag may kaaway

Benilde - Aikido
San Beda - Taekwondo
Letran - Akokwondo
JRU - Boxing
PCU - Sayunachi... Sayonachi... Sayona Chinelas ko! TAKBO!!!


Bracelet ng mga estudyante

Benilde - Uni Silver
Letran - Tiffany
Mapua - Silver works
PCU - Rubber band


After school hirits

San Beda - Wanna hitch?
Benilde - Where are you parked?
Letran - Convoy tayo!
Mapua - Manong, bayad ko.
PCU - Saan to?


Question and Answer

Q: What should an Bedan do when a Benildean hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Bedan should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin, and hurl
it back at the Benildean.


A typical conversation

Benildean meet on the street and carry on a typical Benildean
conversation:
Benildean #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag,
I will give you both of them.
Benildean #2: Uh, two?
Benildean #1: Daya mo! You peeked!


Usapang PCU

PCU #1: Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung gugulpihin natin?
PCU #2: Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya!
PCU #1: Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya.


Mirienda ng students

San Beda - Double cheese burger
Mapua - Double hotdog in a bun
Baste - Double cheesedog
Letran - Double burger
PCU - Double Mint


Sinasabi ng students sa dasal.

La Salle - St. John Baptist de La Salle, pray for us.
Ateneo - St. Ignatius, pray for us.
Baste - St. Sebastian, pray for us.
San Beda - St. Benedict, St Bede, pray for us.
JRU - Our holy father national hero Jose Rizal?!


Sponsored towels ng school team

La Salle - Nike
Ateneo - Adidas
San Beda - And1
Letran - Accel
Benilde - K-Swiss
JRU - SM Basics
PCU - Good Morning Towels


TV brand ng students

Benilde - Phillips
Mapua - Sony
San Beda - Samsung
Letran - Toshiba
PCU - Aiwa... AIWAlang TV


Where To Go To College?

If you have brains and lots money, go to San Beda College
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to College of St. Benilde
If you have no money and no brains, go to PCU.


Bedan: IQ 150, promil user until age 5
Letranite: IQ 100, promil user until age 6
Perpetualite: IQ 130, promil user until age 7
PCU: Low IQ, Promil user until now


Reaction when flooded

Mapua - Oh my God it's baha!
San Beda - It's flooded again!
Baste - Baha na naman!
JRU - Nako pare, baha!
PCU - Tara ligo tayo!


Reaction sa BMW

Benilde - My dad has one like that
Letran - Dad, buy me naman that
San Beda - Dad, that is not worth buying
Mapua - Wow dad! Cool car
PCU - Itay, pakodak tayo sa tabi!


Reaction ng mga students pag nawalan ng wallet

Letran - F***! My credit cards are there
Benilde - S***! Yung driver license ko
San Beda - There goes my 5,000 bucks
PCU - Ok lang...


Reaction ng marinig ang new text scheme

Letran - Bwisit!
Benilde - S***!
San Beda- Bad trip!
Mapua - Diyahe naman...
PCU - Yes! Wala nang mang-aasar sa atin!


NEWS ADVISORY: There was an investigation done to Globe because of their new text scheme. It was found out that the president of Globe is an Alumni of PCU.


Reaction ng students

San Beda - Gosh!
Benilde - Duh!?
Mapua - Oh my God!
JRU - Ganon?
PCU - Chuvachuchu


Reaction sa prostitute

Mapua - Bayaran!
San Beda - Flirt!
Benilde - Loose!
Baste - Magkano?
PCU - Hi classmate!


Reaction sa Lizard

Mapua - Uy, Piticus lizardus.
JRU - Ay, butiki!
San Beda - Eek, lizard!
Benilde - Hey, Lacoste!
PCU - Pare, pulutan!


Belen-making Contest

Last Christmas, there was an inter-school Belen-making contest, but it turned out to be a disaster.
Benilde joined, but later pulled out because they could find only one wise man.
Baste joined, but later pulled out because they could find only two wise men.
PCU did not even bother to join. They can't even find a single virgin.


Sa isang bar

Letran - Waiter, a glass Dom Perignon, please.
San Beda - Johnny Walker Blue Label, on the rocks.
Mapua - Smirnoff. Shaken, not stirred.
Benilde - I'll have some Bacardi, will you please hurry up?
PCU - Teka, teka. Isa-isa lang ho ang order. Ano ulet un sayo Mapua? Smashonaf?


Sa Museum

Sa isang museum, may koleksyon ng iba't-ibang utak kasama na doon ang mga utak ng lahat ng school.
Naka-display din doon ang utak ng taga Benilde na nagkakahalagang Php 25 M at ang utak ng taga Beda na nagkakahalagang Php 5
Nagkataon naman na may dumalaw na Bedista at nagreklamo tungkol sa presyo ng utak ng taga Beda.
San Beda: Bakit ganito lang ang halaga ng utak namin? Mataas ang kaledad nyan tapos limang piso lang. Aba! Dapat nga priceless yan eh!
Curator: Ah! Yun po ba... Kasi po sa San Beda madaling makakuha ng ganyan eh sa Benilde bihira ang makahanap ng utak.


College students daring to eat street foods

Benlide - Kadiri! if u want cheap foods sa Jollibee na lang tayo
Mapua - Eeew! Dirty
San Beda - Yuck!
Letran - Wag jan mga pre... Dami nakukuha mga sakit
PCU - Wag yan! Mahal... Dun na lang sa suki ko.


5 students decide to commit suicide by jumping headfirst from a building.

San Beda: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Mapua: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Letran: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Baste: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang utak at dugo sa kalsada.
Last and the least, Benilde: Basag ang bungo, nagkalat ang dugo sa kalsada. Walang utak.


Quiz B

Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
Contestant from JRU: Sa Back?
Host: O Sige, pwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta)
Contestant from JRU: : Likod?
Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito (Rizal Park)
Contestant from JRU: : Rear Part?


Host: What "N" (Narra) is the national tree of the Philippines?
Contestant from PCU: Niyog?
Host: Mas Matigas pa diyan
Contestant from PCU: (in a strong sound voice) NIYOG!!!


Friends at Hunting

There were three friends; a Bedan, and a Letranite and a student from PCU went on a hunting trip.
The first night, the guy from San Beda comes back to cabin with a big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he coolly replies: "I saw the tracks, I

followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Letran comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Letranite's

story.
So the student from PCU decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody

all over. "What happened?" they ask "Well," replies the student from PCU, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."


Nabangga ang car

UPHD - Pare, ano ba?! Papasada pa ko mamaya e!
Letran - F***! My dad's gonna kill me for this!
Benilde - Nako! My car's not yet insured!
PCU - T*** i** di na nga umaandar babanggain mo pa!


A Benildean trying to buy a green parrot

A Benildean walks into a store in Mega Mall and says:
"Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir, are you a St Benilde by any chance?" The Benildean replies: "Oo. Bakit mo

naman natanong yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Letran? I don't think so. If I bought a RED shirt, would you ask me if I were

from San Beda? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, you ask me if I'm from St Benilde?" "Sir, kasi naman..." replied the salesgirl,

"This is a flower shop, eh."


Kakainin ng salamin pag nag sinungaling

Letran - Pangit ako! (Kinain ng salamin)
Benilde - Mahirap lang kami! (Kinain ng salamin)
San Beda - Hindi ako matalino! (Kinain ng salamin)
PCU - I think... (Kinain ng salamin)


A Benildean and a Letranite

Chance had it that an Benildean and a Letranite were peeing in the Men’s Room at the same time. The Benildean finished first and after a quick shake, zipped

up and was about to quickly exit. The Letranite finished peeing immediately after, approached the sink, turned on the faucet, started to wash his hands and

hurriedly shot a remark at the departing Atenean - “You must be a Benildean!”
The Benildean replied, “Why yes... You’re right... But aside from the obvious markings on my jacket, how did you know?”
To which, the Letranite answered rather haughtily, “I noticed you didn’t wash your hands after peeing. You see, we, Letranites, were taught, very early in

Grade School, to always wash our hands after we pee!”
And the Benildean replied somewhat sheepishly, “Oh... Well... You see, we Benildeans were taught, very early in Grade School, not to pee on our hands...”



Suicidal Sandwich

There were three friends; a Bedan, a student from JRU and a Letranite. Everyday, they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.

Beda: Darn!!! Roast beef sandwich again? I'm sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna shoot myself.
JRU: Putek!!! Peanut butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman ang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.
Leranite: Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I'm so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich again, I'm gonna drive

my Jeep over the cliff.

The next morning, they again met for lunch. And they had the same sandwiches again.
The Bedan went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.
The JRU student went back to his dorm, pulled out a belt, and choked himself to death.
The Letranite drove his Jeep off a cliff.

During their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:
Beda: If he had told me that he didn't want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't have given him roast beef.
JRU: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.
Letranite: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich.


Bedista ka ba?

May Assignment? - Bedan greeting meaning hello.

PA System - sistemang nagbibigay impormasyon sa mga Bedan.
- nagpapaalala kung ano ang dapat na kasuotan sa darating na okasyon na bihira lang namang sinusunod.

Autistic - tawag sa isang taong nagsasalita mag-isa.

Studying - pagdedelusyon na kaya mong matuto kapag ikaw ay nagbasa ng libro maghapon.

Cramming - isang gawain ng Bedan na pumapasok ng maaga at doon sa school na mismo magaaral.

Petiks - state of perfect happiness.
- state of doing something while doing nothing.

Flirt - (verb) magnanakaw ng boyfriend.

Gago - (noun) magnanakaw ng girlfriend.

Epal - Bedistang gusto makisali sa mga usapan ng iba.
- mga estudyanteng walang kaibigan.

Intermission Number - chance ng mga Bedista para ipakita ang kanilang kalokohan through dancing.

Review - ang pagbuklat ng aklat sabay tunganga.
- ang pagsulat sa yellow pad na ididisplay lamang.

Teamwork - ang pagdadala lamang ng pinaka-madaling bagay na kailagan sa grupo tulad ng scissors. Teamwork yan.

Locker - punching bag.

Assembly - ang pagtitipong-tipong ng mga Bedan sa Porgatoryo bago pumasok sa kani-kanilang kulungan.

Sabaw - state of being asleep while being awake.

PE - Playing Education/Petiks Education
- dadaan muna sa clinic bago sa gym habang may hawak na amonia.

CCC - stands for Cutting Classes Club.

Jelly Tongue - mabenta sa mga taong gustong maging mapula ang kanilang mga labi.
- powder nalang at naka-make-up ka na!

TV - nakabukas kapag umuulan para maalam kung may pasok o wala.
- nakalagay sa channel kung saan mapapanuod ang game ng school.

Stairs - Keep right. Kahit anong mangyari, wag na wag hahawakan ang handle dahil meron itong koleksyon ng laway mula sa iba't ibang henerasyon ng mga Bedistang dumudura mula 4th floor.

Signal No.2 - walang pasok hanggang bukas, pero hindi naman uulan.

Card Day - 'Act Good' Day.

Fire/Earthquake drill - nababawasan ang oras ng mga subject at napopostpone ang mga quiz. Libre sumigaw, magwala at magpakawalang-hiya.

Deadline - sa 6 months pa kunyare ang deadline at may oras ka pang gumawa pero itong proyekto ay gagawin sa araw bago yung mismong araw ng deadline.

ID - isang bagay na hugis parrisukat na may pangalan ng may-ari at may litrato nito... O litrato ng syota mo. O ng schedule mo... Scrapbook kung baga.

Ulser - makukuha mo kapag umorder ka ng pasta sa canteen.

Desk- minsan kulang, minsan sobra, minsan butas, minsan marumi pero laging tulugan.

Banyo - excuse mo para makatakas ka sa subject na ayaw mo. Magbanyo ka sa 4th floor kung nasa 2nd floor ka. Bell na pagbalik mo.

PSP - major accesory ng Geek Brigade or similar affiliations.

Walis at Daspan - props para pang lightsabers.

Basurahan - instant basketball. Kuha ka lang ng crumpled paper. Shoot, score!

Prayer - hinahabaan para mabawasan ang oras ng subject.

Libro - binubuksan bago mag-exam; patungan ng mga tulog.

1/4 - hinge ka nalang sa katabi.

Fire Extinguisher - expired na talaga... Last year pa yata.

Math Book - dalawang kilong libro na dinadala para magmukhang matalino.

DOTA - Alternative Classroom Learning Experience.

Haircut - pinakamahirap na pagsubok sa buhay ng isang studyante.

Merit at Demerit - paraan ng para imanipula ang mga studyante.

Handbook - never nabuklat.

Reply Slip - hindi nagrereply; scratchpaper.

Pahiram - (verb) pagsinabi ito, asahan mo nang 'di na babalik sa iyo.

Jacket - fashionista ang mga Bedista. Pabongahan! Mas weird mas maganda.

Worksheet - naiuuwi pero yung sagot nakukuha kinabukasan kapag nakakopya na.

Imitation of Teachers - expert mga Bedista diyan.

Angelus - tayuan agad.

Cabellero - ngiti ka lang kung alam mong may ginawa kang kasalanan.

McDo - sikat na meeting place kapag may gagawing "project".

Skwater - kung ang taste mo sa pananamit, sapatos o paggalaw ay tipong hindi nakakaakit.
- state of being jologs.

Feeler - state of being someone you're not but you don't see it.
- sa mga taong feeling angat pero baon pa sa lupa ang ugali o itsura.

Fuck - (verb) madalas napaguusapan sa loob ng campus. Pampasimula ng topic.
(noun) focker; a person who is undergoing mental stability; epal. (refer to epal)
(interj) act of surprise; expression used when surprised; usually used when pissed.

Speeches of the Rector - a spell that makes the students fall asleep on his or her chairs unaware.

Water Fountain - for display only.

Library - pinapasok ng mga taong matatalino at maabilidad. Mga taong naiinitan at gustong magpalamig.


Transportmers

















Wasabi

WAla ako maSABI...






















Idol ko si PACMAN

Idol ko si Manny Pacquiao, hindi lang dahil magaling sya mag boxing. Ngayon ko lang kasi nalaman na photogenic pala sya.

Mula pag ka bata...







At sa pag dadala ng bata...


Sa pag dadalaga...


Sa pag protekta sa ating bansa...






Sa pag papaunlad sa bansa...



Sa pag sali sa mga pelikula...





Pati na rin sa pag sali sa larawan ng musika.




Sikat talaga ang idol ko!
Lagi syang pinagkakaguluan ng mga paparazzi...

Na magazine pa nga sya ng isang beses eh...

Minsan pa nga na mga mangingisda naman ang nag kagulo sa kanya...

Sya rin ang paboritong libangan ng mga kabataan ngayon...


Sa sobrang dami nyang pinagkakaabalahan, syempre mayaman ang idol ko! Bigtime kaya ang idol ko! Nasa pera pa nga sya eh...


Dati pa sya nandito sa mundo. Matagal na nga sya dito eh, mga stone age pa lang andito na sya. Kaya tignan mo na lang sya ngayon...